Today is World Mental Health Day and it is a cause very close to my heart so I wanted to tell you something about my journey and my life.
I’m April, I’m 48 and live in Northampton with my wonderful husband and our amazing daughter. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2020 and have suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life.
The first time I got an official diagnosis of depression was in 2013 and it was probably triggered by a very stressful work situation and a physical illness which resulted in surgery. At the time I had been working in a job share and when my job share partner retired the company decided not to replace them and have me do the role – but only in my existing part time hours. Inevitably this was impossible and combined with the physical health problems I was having and lack of support from the people I was working with led to me breaking down. I was signed off work for three months during which time I had the surgery I needed and started taking anti-depressants.
On my first day back at work in a phased return I only managed 20 minutes before I broke down in tears and had to go home. I was lucky that a new job came up for me and I was able to leave quite quickly; it took three years of working from home and lots of therapy before I felt strong enough to go back to an office environment and was able to come off the medication.
2019 marked the start of another period with a family illness, bereavement and the impact of dealing with those losses. Unfortunately; I ended up having to undertake my Mental Health First Aider training in the period between the loss of my mother-in-law and her funeral; thankfully this time my employers were far more understanding and my GP encouraged me to take the medication I needed again.
We all know what happened in 2020 and my fibromyalgia diagnosis came only the week before we went into lockdown and as I was working in the NHS there wasn’t much opportunity to process it as the time – we all just focused on what we had to do.
As anyone who was working in the NHS during COVID knows there was no let up for a very long time and other things came into play during this time as well and to cut a very long story short, I ended up with severe burnout, a near constant flare of my fibromyalgia symptoms, physical and mental exhaustion and anxiety.
I left the NHS in early 2024 after nearly 8 mostly happy years, I am proud of the work I did there and grateful for the friends I made but I know it was the right thing to do. Seven months on and six months into running The Proficient PA I am starting to come out of the worst of the burnout and learning to pace myself with fibromyalgia.
Looking back I know I had periods of depression before that first diagnosis and somehow managed to muddle through.
My anxiety was, I believe, initially triggered by being physically assaulted in the street, in full daylight and in view of several other people – it happened very quickly, a man was heading down the road towards me being verbally abusive to other people and getting louder, I did everything you’re supposed to do in terms of moving out of his way and not making eye contact but he punched me in the face. This left me very frightened and in physical pain. For a long time I was scared to walk alone – even in daylight - loud noises and crowded environments are still very triggering to me.
Why have I told you all this? I believe it is important to break the stigma that still exists around mental illness and I want you to know that I am here to support anyone who needs it in whatever way I can, I am still a Mental Health First Aider and can signpost to appropriate resources. I act as Wellbeing Lead/Support for a lot of the community theatre work I am involved. I am a good listener and if you’re my friend – you know I give great hugs!
The important thing is being able to talk about any problems you may have, whether it’s with a friend or a professional, there are some great resources out there now so please do reach out to someone if you need to – a problem shared is a problem halved as they say.
I've listed below some resources which may be helpful.
There is always someone who can help you. Please reach out, don't suffer in silence.
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